Just a quick post for anyone out there wondering if I'm still alive.
I've been grinding out a bankroll on Party the last week or so. Took a $50 up to $250, then lost 30 of it in a sickening 4 hour session that was mainly comprised of yo-yo-ing from $25, up to $70, back to $20, and so on. Every time I was up, I tried to talk myself into logging out while I was ahead, but the other players at my table were SO horrible I just couldn't do it. And then, of course, the bad beats start happening. I think I was playing pretty tight, especially for a NL 6max table, but I had people calling my raises left and right preflop. Oh well, what can you do?
$219. That's where it is. Just checked it. Yup. This is what I do while I'm "working". I sit there and just look at my bankroll. Dreaming of adding a few zeros to that number. All while being too much of a pussy to actually make it happen. I've been noticing that when I sit down and open up two or three tables to play for a nice long session, I generally lean more towards playing NL. I have racked my brain time and time again for a valid reason as to why this is. Logically, I know that I can make more in a shorter period of time if I have a great session. I also realize that I can lose my entire bankroll in a matter of minutes. I should be playing limit, grinding up a BB or two per hour. The realization I've come to is that it's boring. I love the adrenaline rush in NL when you felt someone. It's almost as bad as the nauseous feeling I get in my stomach when someone catches their runner runner flush to knock out my flopped straight. And that's why I need to ignore what I like, at least for now, and concentrate on getting some scratch together. Why? Because even though I prefer NL, if I don't have any money to play with, it's a completely moot point. If I need to satisfy my cravings, at least I can do it responsibly or in some similar fashion.
Lately, I've also had very strong tendencies to play SnG's on Party. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but my reasons for doing it are. I usually only play them when I feel like giving a moderate boost to the bankroll, and most of the time, that doesn't happen. I shouldn't be playing these STT's unless I have the bankroll for them, and if/when that happens, I should be playing them exclusively. With goals.
But help is on the horizon. I have a ton of friends that live within a mile of me that are all poker addicts as well, one of whom is a pro, very similar in style to Matt Maroon. If I can get a little extra time here in the near future, I may be able to pull my act together. And if that can happen, watch out.
More to come.
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